What is Conflict Coaching & Who benefits

​Coaching has been around since the dark ages, and even before modern times, there has always been a form of coaching that’s occurred. When you hear the word “coach”, some of you might think of athletic coaches, and those of us who have had coaches know they held us accountable, supported us and trained us to expect the unexpected. They pushed us through times of struggle and forced us to step into sometimes very uncomfortable situations that required us to enhance and effectively utilize our leadership skills.
 
In fact, for many of us these types of motivators were our first athletic coaches in grade school. Although athletic coaches are not Executive Coaches, many of their influences are the same. They both require you to be uber-self-aware of yourself and others, and they both ask you to step-up and play at your highest potential possible.  
 
It wasn’t until the 80s that “Executive Coaching” became more prominent amongst big business. Executive Coaching is a well-regarded form of coaching. It consists of three key players, the Coach, Coachee and the Client. Executive Coaches are trained in three forms of coaching, Developmental, Transitional and Performance. In an article by the Harvard Business Review published in 2014, it was stated that, “Many of the world’s most admired corporations, from GE to Goldman Sachs, invest in coaching. Annual spending on coaching in the United States is estimated at roughly $1 billion”.  With that being said, Coaching has come a long way since the 80s. Many coaches across the world describe themselves as health and wellness coaches, life coaches, career coaches, business coaches and the lists go on.  As an avid student of human development in the workplace, I will focus on a type of coaching many people won’t admit they need.
 
Conflict Coaching
 
While completing a Masters of Arts from Southern Methodist University, I took a course titled, Conflict Coaching offered by Pattie Porter, the Texas Conflict Coach. The class was based the Cinergy Coaching Model. The model is a very specific coaching framework created by Cinnie Noble of Canada. The tool is effectively used “before conflict arises (when it is anticipated), while going through a dispute, or after a conflict when resilience may be low and residual negativity lingers”.
 
Currently, certified Coaches use the Cinergy Model worldwide. Cinergy has been providing one-on-one coaching since 1999, and the framework provides the Coachee (clients) with:

• improving the way they engage in conflict;
• managing a dispute before it escalates unnecessarily;
• resolving a dispute that has already occurred; and
• preparing to handle a conversation or situation that is anticipated to be contentious

 
Conflict and the Need for Conflict Coaching
 
You must remember conflict is and will be around until the end of time. Whether we’d like to admit it or not, we are constantly faced with conflict. With conflict comes an assortment of emotions, feelings and sometimes-physical anguish. Conflict is here to stay, however it’s the way you handle conflict that will make a difference.
 
Every morning we wake-up with a choices. We are constantly being tasked to quickly delegate, deliberate and act-on situations at work. Choices and conflict surround us.

Examples of Conflict at work: 

• Having a difficult conversation with your boss about expectations. 
• Having a difficult conversation about deadlines. 
• Having a DIFFICULT CONVERSATION.
• Responding to an email with precision, honesty and integrity (when you’d much rather go on a rant).
• Collaborating with lazy team members.
• Email confusion. 
• Colleagues with high and low emotions.

 
Who benefits from Conflict Coaching?
Anyone who wants to improve the way they handle conflict. Family conflict, workplace conflict, conflicts with neighbors, friends, relationships, etc.
 
How long does Coaching take?
It all depends on you. How much time and effort are YOU willing to put forth? Are you willing to make the sacrifices necessary to set yourself apart from the rest and develop these particular leadership capabilities? When you decide to commit yourself to a coach, you are committing your time and endurance. For some people it takes 6 months and others it might take 12 months. It all depends on how bold you’re willing to try new behaviors and approaches to conflict. The more practice, the more you become comfortable with your newly discovered skills.    
 
For for information on Conflict Coaching and the Cinergy Model - check out their site. www.cinergycoaching.com 

For a deeper dive into Executive Coaching, The Harvard Business Review wrote a fantastic article in 2014 titled, The Wild West of Executive Coaching.

You can also follow Patti Porter on Twitter @txconflictcoach or listen to the Texas Conflict Coach on her podcast.
 
For information on conflict courses and coaching, check out Southern Methodist University' program in Dispute Resolution and Conflict Management.
 
Or just shoot me an email and let’s chat… 
-VP