Denial Addiction

​Have you ever made a choice NOT to do something? Decided that it was a better idea to keep the status quo?  If you have done this more than a few times, you are likely living the Denial Phase of Change. The Denial Phase of Change will almost always turn into Denial Addiction.
 
Denial Addiction is a term I’ve coined to give meaning and reference to the feelings and emotions we feel when we are consistently living in a state of “denial."

Before we decide to make a change, most of us sit in the very comfortable, reassuring and supportive phase called – DENIAL. For a hot minute we begin to consider our options, with options comes that queasy, uncomfortable sense of, “hell no!” But, WHY??? Why is it so comfortable? 
​
​Leaning on the reasons why NOT to change begins to bring the comfort back. It releases the tension and our state of mind comes back to normal. It is a defense mechanism many of us have become quite good at.  
 
So here we are, living in denial – where it’s tranquil and straightforward.  Our minds are at ease and we are suddenly in a state of calm. It feels safe. Therefore, becoming addicted to the denial phase is easy. It is addicting to turn the other way and say, “maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, maybe next month, maybe next year… just not now”. It’s easy for most of us to sit in denial, creating poor and addicting habits of self-deprivation.
 
Sounds depressing? Well it is. 

​By withholding ourselves to be accountable for our truths and actions, we leave little room to create and achieve success.  It become apparent we have created a commonplace for denial and rather than allowing ourselves to be aware and conscious of our denial, we chalk it up to one-hundred millions reason why NOT to change… because it’s easier. As a society, I believe we’ve become addicted to denying the need for change. In fact, I will so boldly say – we are all talk with little walk!
 
It is easier to live in a space we feel comfortable, but most importantly where no one can harm us. It is natural for us to resist fear, because it’s scary. Change is scary because we do not know the end of the story. What happens on the other side of change? 

---

WHY IS CHANGE SO FREAKY?

I can’t begin to tell you the amount of people I have come across with incredible success stories of change, personal change, professional change, small change and big change. And all the change stories had one commonality, The Fear Factor.

Change is scary for many reasons, but mostly it is the fear of the unknown. When we decide to make a change, we are not sure where it is going to lead us. We have an idea of where it might take us, but nothing is ever certain. We can plan and plan and plan and plan, but it is almost certain nothing ever goes as planned. Right? What if there were simple practices to becoming comfortable with change? Practice does not make perfect, because no one is perfect. Practice takes time and commitment. With practice, time, commitment and most importantly bravery, comes an easier, more effective way to change. ​

The Fear Factor

Fear of the unknown, failing, mistakes, embarrassment, self-doubt, decisions, decisions, and more decisions. ​

---

5 Steps to Make Change Happen

 Step 1.  
Embrace the freakin’ FEAR! Think of Nike and JUST DO IT. They did and look where it got them.
 
Step 2.  
Breath, Breath, Breath, and Breath some more. (No really, you should look into breathing exercises – they help, I swear!).
 
Step 3.
Discover your process and ask yourself these questions:
What is the purpose of my change?
What is the vision of my change?  
What is the impact of my change?
What’s my game plan for change?
 
Step 4.  
Make the change happen – Implement it! (Remember, JUST DO IT)
 
Step 5.  
Learn from the change, learn from the process, and course correct. Then do it again. And again… And again! Build a habit of change; it will increase self-development and confidence!  

---

And when that Change happens... YOU will get all the feels...

Excitement, because your hard work paid-off.
 
Accomplishment, because you didn’t think you could do it.
 
Realization, because “what was I so afraid of?”

And don’t forget that fuzzy-feel good feeling that warms your soul!

Like any other addiction, it takes guts to quit. Quitting your excuses will never be harmful to you, so be that leader you have always aspired to be and MAKE THAT CHANGE!

​-VP

---